Your turn to shout |
|
Nino enters the Marble Bar which is noisy and full of people. He makes his way through the crowd to the bar. |
|
Barmaid |
What’ll it be? |
Nino |
If you please, I wish to drink some beer. |
Barmaid |
A schooner or a middy? |
Nino looks confused and hesitates. |
|
Nino |
If you please, I wish to drink some beer. |
Barmaid |
(in a louder voice) A schooner or a middy? |
Man |
How long you been in Australia, mate? |
Nino |
Oh, I just arrived today, sir. |
Man |
Oh, that explains it. These big glasses are called schooners and the small ones are middies. |
Nino |
Oh, thank you. |
Barmaid |
Schooner or middy? |
Nino |
Uh, I wish to have a middy. |
Man |
Have one with me. Two schooners, thanks Jean. |
Nino |
Thank you. I would be extremely delighted to accept your kind invitation. |
Man |
Where do you come from? |
Nino |
I am Italian. |
Man |
Are ya? Big bloke like you? You don’t look it. |
Nino |
Please, what means ‘big bloke’? |
Man |
Ah, well, everyone’s a bloke. You’re a bloke, I’m a bloke. We’re all blokes. Cheers. |
Nino |
Cheers |
The men raise their glasses and drink. |
|
Man |
Tasted Australian beer before? |
Nino |
No, this is the first time. |
Man |
Best beer in the world. Puts a gut on you, though. What do you do for a crust? |
Nino |
I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t understand you. |
Man |
How do you earn your living? |
Nino |
Oh, I’m a writer. |
Man |
In Italian? |
Nino |
Yes, in Italian. |
Man |
Well, your turn. |
Nino |
Please, what means my turn? |
Man |
Your turn to shout. |
Nino |
Why I should shout? |
Man |
Because I shouted you. |
Nino |
I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you shout me. |
Man |
When a bloke buys you a beer it’s called a ‘shout’, see? Now I shouted you. Now it’s your turn to shout for me. |
Nino |
Oh. I’m sorry but I think I do not wish to drink another beer. |
Man |
Now listen, in this country if you want to keep out of trouble, you always return a shout, see? |
Nino |
Oh, is it a custom? |
Man |
Bloody oath, it’s the custom. Your shout! |
Nino |
Alright. Excuse me, sir. It would be offensive for your susceptibility if I buy a drink for you and I don’t buy another drink for me? |
Man |
That’s the worst insult you can give a Man. Jean... |
Nino |
I wish to shout. |
The men receive their beers and chink glasses, smiling at each other. |
|
Nino |
What do you do for your crust? |
Man |
Me? I do shiftwork down the … hey, did you hear what he said? Cheers. |
Nino |
Cheers. |